2025-05-04
Black Blooper

Short but sweet?

Apparently, this one South Korean automobile company has a pretty jaundiced view of American drivers. And it's always possible they may be right.

They spend the whole 30 seconds of their commersh telling us about what (one would assume) they think we consider its singularly most important, most valuable, most purchase-driving feature.

And what's that, you ask. Is it performance? Safety? Gas mileage? Durability? Interior space and comfort? Price? Resale value?

BzzZZat!

None of the above. The ad spends the whole 30 seconds explaining that the car has "touches of black" Denoting, we're told, elegance. Refinement. Prestige. Touches of black say a lot, we're assured, without having to say much. And though they're darker than the darkest night, we're given to understand, they make us see everything in a new light.

[ASIDE] Yeah, well, I certainly agree that "Black is beautiful." But the advertisers and their agency aren't on that page at all. No one seen in the commercial is Black. No one. Not the repeatedly seen driver. Not the chef putting the black truffles on his pasta nest. Not the model rocking the necklace of alternating black and white crystals. Not even some barely seen bit actor in the bg. No one. [/ASIDE]

Anyway, to me the idea that we - well, you, 'cuz I don't drive - think the most important thing about a car is its appearance is just plain insulting. So even if I were into buying a car, I'd take a pass on this one. Shoot, I can't actually figure out whom the advert really is targeting.

So, short but not sweet!

P.S. And don't tell me that the featured bits of black are about "hidden" cameras for safety and security. 'Cuz if that's what they were truly aiming at, they'd've mentioned it at least once.

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2025-02-25 Reverse Reverse

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2025-02-25
Reverse Reverse

Bill Maher of Real Time fame recently gave me a term I've been trying to come up with for years if not decades. The term is "Reverse Improvement". It's a way of describing the phenomenon I mean when I say, "I'm sick and tired of product producers and service providers repeatedly 'improving' things until they become absolutely useless."

So today, rather than riffing on TV adverts for products and services that suffer from reverse improvement (like my new satellite box, which both interrupts my viewing and limits my ability to autotune, when I was perfectly happy with its less-anal predecessor, which didn't assume I'm an idiot incapable of making or remembering my own decisions), I'm going to give you an example gleaned from an 'ad' on a label itself.

The product is one of my favorite forms of hummus: roasted pine nut. (I also favor roasted red pepper, and spinach and artichoke, and edamame hummus.) The last time I bought a 10-ounce container, I noticed something different on the label: a bright blue banner with white letters exclaiming "NEW! MORE TOPPING". Oh, wow, an improvement.

But wait a second. The weight is still 10 ounces. So if I'm getting more topping, I 'm getting less hummus. right? Well, maybe OK, 'cuz I'll definitely enjoy the extra pine nuts.

Only, the topping doesn't look the same; it's got red bits in it, and black stuff all over the place. A check of the ingredients label informs me that the red bits are roasted red pepper and the black stuff is black pepper. So I'm not getting more pine nuts, I'm actually getting less pine nuts and more stuff adulterating them, yeah? Come on, if I wanted red peppers, I'd get red-pepper hummus. Or chop up my own leftover red peppers and stir them in with the pine nuts myself. Or buy a container of each and mix them together. And If I wanted black pepper all over my hummus, which I don't, I'd use my own pepper shaker.

Drats! That's a reverse improvement. A form of shrinkflation. Pay the same (or more) but get less of what I'm paying for. And I'm sick and tired of it. I may eliminate that variety - or even that brand - from my buying altogether. Or, if all the brands start doing that adulteration, I may eliminate buying store hummus altogether. 'Cuz perhaps, if I start jonesing for the stuff, I can make my own (not that I'm any great shakes as a cook). Or even go to my numerous Persian friends with a bag of chickpeas and a jar of ground sesame and maybe some pine nuts (harvested, with permission, from the tree next door?) or red peppers, and ask them can I buy back some hummus when they make their own like it's supposed to be made.

Or maybe if I and a gazillion other consumers start complaining to producers of this and that, and demand they reverse their reverse improvements, we'll all start to see some real improvements. What do you think?

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